Movies Graded

Director: Niki Caro Stars: Yifei Liu, Donnie Yen, Li Gong Runtime:  115 minutes Synopsis:   A young Chinese maiden disguises herself as a male warrior in order to save her father. Performances: 4/10 Screenplay: 1/10 Editing: 3/10 Cinematography: 3/10 Score/Soundtrack:  2/10 Entertainment Factor:  1/10 Verdict: I hate it. I hate it so much. The live-action remake of "Mulan" is, unsurprisingly, yet another embarrassment to Disney's recent legacy. The original is a classic tale of bravery led by an iconic figure who defied gender expectations. It's a film that still holds up beautifully, one that can still be enjoyed by everyone, regardless of their age or gender. Through its musical choices and gorgeous cinematography, it turns the two-dimensional animation into a three-dimensional narrative assisted by multilayered, very likable characters. Before anyone points it out, the remake, unlike last year's "Lion King", does bring a few changes to the story by re...

Director: Diederik Van Rooijen Stars: Shay Mitchell, Grey Damon, Kirby Johnson Runtime: 86 minutes Synopsis:   When a cop who is just out of rehab takes the graveyard shift in a city hospital morgue, she faces a series of bizarre, violent events caused by an evil entity in one of the corpses. Performances: 2/10 Screenplay: 1/10 Special Effects: 2/10 Costumes/Makeup: 3/10 Editing: 3/10 Cinematography: 3/10 Score/Soundtrack:  1/10 Verdict: You immediately recognize a failure when the only aspect you enjoy about it is its short runtime. "The Possession of Hannah Grace" is nothing we've not seen a million times before and serves as yet another disposable horror flick that uses the exact same blueprint as every other forgettable exorcism movie out there. From cheap, misplaced jumpscares to an unlikable lead with laughable character development, the movie never even bothers to try to be its own thing. It's a safe, generic horror film that was on...

Director: Stephen Susco Stars: Rebecca Rittenhouse, Colin Woodell, Betty Gabriel Runtime: 92 minutes Synopsis:  The owner of a stolen laptop will go to extreme lengths to get it back. Performances: 2/10 Why? Even worse than in its predecessor. I couldn't take seriously any of the characters' reactions and emotional outbursts. The bad acting did result in a few laughs, however. Screenplay: 1/10 Why? A strong contender for the dumbest movie of the year award. The story made absolutely no sense whatsoever, the characters were all typical disposable horror clichés that always appear to lack the ability to think using logic, the ending was so ridiculous that it actually made me laugh out loud, and the list goes on. The only decision I sort of liked was the riddance of the cheap paranormal factor which played an integral part in the first film.  Costumes/Makeup: 4/10 Why? Not a lot to say since we can barely even see the characters' clothes in the film, ...

Director: Blake Harris, Chris Bouchard Stars: Poppy Drayton, William Moseley, Armando Gutierrez Runtime:  85 minutes Synopsis:  A young man and his niece stumble upon a mermaid while visiting a circus. Performances: 3/10 Why? Emotionless, awkward, and at times comical. There wasn't a single good, or even decent, performance in the entire movie. Not one actor looked interested or invested in their respective characters and it was embarrassing to watch.  Screenplay: 1/10 Why? "Why?" is the question I kept asking myself during a little less than 90 minutes. Why was this movie greenlit? Why did the whole thing feel like if it was written by a 5-year-old? Why was I doing this to myself? I can't think of one scene that did justice to the Hans Christian Andersen classic. The dialogue was atrocious, the characters unlikeable and two dimensional, the comedy awkward, and the narrative absolutely ridiculous. "The Little Mermaid" is probably...

Director: Steven C. Miller Stars: Sylvester Stallone, Dave Bautista, Xiaoming Huang Runtime: 96 minutes Synopsis: A man uses his skills to plot his escape from a maximum security prison. Performances: 2/10 Screenplay: 1/10 Special Effects: 2/10 Costumes/Makeup: 4/10 Editing: 1/10 Cinematography: 2/10 Score/Soundtrack:  1/10  Verdict:  Just another poorly written and poorly executed action flick that relies on random, terribly shot fights breaking every once in a while to keep the audience awake. I never felt that the team involved was even trying to make a decent movie. The actors looked aware of the quality of the project they were participating in, the special effects looked hilariously bad, the score was cheesy and cheap, the cinematography god awful, and the editing, especially during fight scenes, terrible. Stallone and Bautista barely had anything to do, and the flick would've exactly been the same without them. They were clearly inc...

Director: Ben Falcone Stars: Melissa McCarthy, Matt Walsh, Molly Gordon Runtime: 105 minutes Synopsis: After her husband asks for a divorce, a middle-aged mom goes back to college to complete her degree. Performances: 2/10 Screenplay: 1/10 Special Effects: N.A. Costumes/Makeup: 2/10 Editing: 5/10 Cinematography: 4/10 Score/Soundtrack:  3/10  Verdict:  What else were you expecting from a Melissa McCarthy comedy directed by Ben Falcone? The final grade is one more than the number of times I laughed during this comedy, and it should tell you everything you need to know. Final Grade:  1/10

Director: Rob Cohen Stars: Toby Kebbell, Maggie Grace, Ryan Kwanten Runtime: 103 minutes Synopsis: A group of thieves attempts to pull the heist of the century in the midst of a category 5 hurricane. Performances: 3/10 Screenplay: 1/10 Special Effects: 2/10 Costumes/Makeup: 3/10 Editing: 4/10 Cinematography: 3/10 Score/Soundtrack:  5/10  Verdict:  The worst movie I've seen this year without a doubt. The special effects and cinematography make the movie look like it was made for a straight to DVD release. The story makes no sense and is filled with poor dialogue and forgettable characters. The action scenes check all the clichés of a typical 1990s action flick. I was expecting "The Hurricane Heist" to be enjoyingly bad, but it was just painful to watch.  Final Grade:  1/10

Director: Clint Eastwood Stars: Alek Skarlatos, Anthony Sadler, Spencer Stone Runtime: 94 minutes Synopsis: The true story of the three Americans who stopped a terrorist attack on a train in France. Performances: 3/10 Screenplay: 1/10 Special Effects: N.A.   Costumes/Makeup: 5/10 Editing: 3/10 Cinematography: 5/10 Score/Soundtrack:  4/10  Verdict:  Looks and feels like a student film. The story and its characters lacked authenticity despite it being a true story starring the real people involved. A rare misfire from industry legend Clint Eastwood. Final Grade:  1/10

Director: James Foley Stars: Dakota Johnson, Jamie Dornan, Eric Johnson Runtime: 105 minutes Performances: 3/10 Screenplay: 1/10 Special Effects: N.A. Costumes/Makeup: 5/10 Editing: 1/10 Cinematography: 6/10 Score/Soundtrack:  3/10  Verdict: A narrative that's all over the place, wooden performances by uninterested actors, and one of the most random soundtracks I have ever listened to make "Fifty Shades Freed" the worst entry in the franchise, which is saying a lot. On the bright side, the torture is finally over.  Final Grade:  1/10

Director: Jon Lucas, Scott Moore Stars: Mila Kunis, Kristen Bell, Kathryn Hahn Runtime: 104 minutes Performances: 2/10 Screenplay: 1/10 Special Effects: N.A. Costumes/Makeup: 5/10 Editing: 4/10 Cinematography: 3/10 Score/Soundtrack:  2/10  Verdict:  I honestly don't know what I was expecting from the sequel to last year's "Bad Moms". Mila Kunis, Kristen Bell, and Kathryn Hahn returned as the three underappreciated mothers, only this time, they are joined by their own moms played by Christine Baranski, Cheryl Hines, and Susan Sarandon. I wasn't a big fan of this movie's predecessor, as I found the characters to be unlikable and the jokes to be unfunny. "A Bad Moms Christmas" checks all the boxes of a typical Hollywood sequel. It is basically a remake of the first movie, only with twice as many moms. The jokes were lazy, unfunny and repetitive, the characters, old and new, unlikable, and the plot non-existent. "A Bad Moms Chr...