The Little Mermaid (2018)
Stars: Poppy Drayton, William Moseley, Armando Gutierrez
Runtime: 85 minutes
Synopsis: A young man and his niece stumble upon a mermaid while visiting a circus.
- Performances: 3/10
Why? Emotionless, awkward, and at times comical. There wasn't a single good, or even decent, performance in the entire movie. Not one actor looked interested or invested in their respective characters and it was embarrassing to watch.
- Screenplay: 1/10
Why? "Why?" is the question I kept asking myself during a little less than 90 minutes. Why was this movie greenlit? Why did the whole thing feel like if it was written by a 5-year-old? Why was I doing this to myself? I can't think of one scene that did justice to the Hans Christian Andersen classic. The dialogue was atrocious, the characters unlikeable and two dimensional, the comedy awkward, and the narrative absolutely ridiculous. "The Little Mermaid" is probably the worse film I've seen this year, and it's mostly because of its terrible script.
- Special Effects: 2/10
Why? Not a lot of CGI shots, but enough to make me shake my head in disappointment. The film had a budget of $5 million, and yet it felt like it was made by students who used Adobe After Effects to add in the effects.
- Costumes/Makeup: 3/10
Why? The costume department had the heavy task of making the circus performers look realistic. Instead, they made them look like adults dressed in cheap Halloween costumes. Hilarious.
- Editing: 2/10
Why? The film is only 85 minutes long, and yet I felt like it had a 3 hours runtime. There's a ton of useless scenes that could've stayed on the editing room's floor and that made the movie drag. The way the film was cut was also terrible. It didn't know when to jump back to present time where the story is told as a flashback, and more than once the transitions were sudden and rough.
- Cinematography: 2/10
Why? Flares, shaky scenes, poor camera handling... You name it, it's there.
- Score/Soundtrack: 4/10
Why? The best aspect of the movie, I guess? The score didn't annoy me as much as everything else featured in it, but was still boring, unspecial, and repetitive. There's a scene where Poppy Drayton, the actress playing the mermaid, sings a song. The scene in question is terribly shot and incredibly cheesy, but I must admit that I enjoyed her singing voice.
FINAL GRADE: 1/10
I defiantly laughed a lot during this movie. It was almost like a coping mechanism, just to get through it. Also--I still don't understand, what was with the ending? Did they just not plan an ending and forget, because that's what it felt like.
ReplyDeleteI literally laughed out loud at the ending. I honestly don't think there was a script to begin with. Nobody can plan something this atrocious.
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