Movies Graded

Director: Tobe Hooper Stars: Marilyn Burns, Edwin Neal, Allen Danziger Runtime:  83  minutes Synopsis:  Five friends head out to rural Texas to visit the grave of a grandfather. On the way they stumble across what appears to be a deserted house, only to discover something sinister within. Something armed with a chainsaw. Verdict:  With a runtime of only 83 minutes, Tobe Hooper’s classic slasher immediately throws its audience under the burning Texan sun under which a group of friends is driving themselves to a vandalized graveyard. Their already dire trip takes an unexpected turn when they stumble on a hitchhiker who clearly means trouble, leading them to a path that is as horrifying as it is shocking. Released in 1974, “The Texas Chain Saw Massacre” paved the way for a generation of iconic slashers that include “Halloween”, “Friday the 13th”, or “A Nightmare on Elm Street”, making it easily one of the most influential horror films of all time. Despite it being one o...

Director: James Cameron Stars: Sam Worthington, Zoe Saldana, Sigourney Weaver Runtime:  178  minutes (Extended Collector's Edition) Synopsis:  A paraplegic Marine dispatched to the moon Pandora on a unique mission becomes torn between following his orders and protecting the world he feels is his home. Verdict:  I remember once casually looking at a list of the most loathed movies ever made and was surprised to find out that James Cameron’s “Avatar” ranked pretty high in it. The reason - or rather 2.8 billion reasons - is clear as day, though I have a very difficult time getting behind it. Movies should not be defined by their box office success as it is in no way an indicator of their quality, and pretending otherwise only encourages Hollywood to keep pumping out the same calculated content to moviegoers, killing any ounce of creativity left in the industry. I’ve never jumped on the “Avatar” hate train, never complained about the fact that multiple sequels for it are...

Director: Karyn Kusama Stars: Megan Fox, Amanda Seyfried, Adam Brody Runtime:  102  minutes Synopsis:  A newly possessed high school cheerleader turns into a succubus who specializes in killing her male classmates. Can her best friend put an end to the horror? Verdict:  “Jennifer’s Body” currently sits at a rotten score of 45% on the Tomato Meter and an aggressively average rating of 5.3 on IMDb. And quite frankly, I’m convinced that this is one of the biggest travesties in recent cinematic history. To be fair, it has achieved cult status over the past few years but boy oh boy do we owe director Karyn Kusama and writer Diablo Cody an apology for its initial failure. I remember watching it when it initially came out and liking it quite a bit. But it’s not until my most recent rewatch that I fully appreciated its clever direction and unique approach to a coming-of-age story built around themes of sexual assault and the deterioration of teenage friendships. Jennifer, pl...

Director: Cary Joji Fukunaga Stars: Daniel Craig, Ana de Armas, Rami Malek Runtime:  163  minutes Synopsis:  James Bond has left active service. His peace is short-lived when Felix Leiter, an old friend from the CIA, turns up asking for help, leading Bond onto the trail of a mysterious villain armed with dangerous new technology. Verdict:  On paper, “No Time to Die” is far from being the best Bond movie in the franchise. It suffers from pacing issues, a formula we’ve grown accustomed to, structural inconsistencies, and a rather unmemorable villain in Rami Malek’s Lyutsifer Safin. But with this being Daniel Craig’s last hoorah in the role of 007, closing his arc was always going to be the film’s main focus, a mission that was handled effectively without sacrificing the essence of what these movies are all about. Built upon Billie Eilish’s award-winning theme and Hans Zimmer’s score, “No Time to Die” tells what is perhaps the most emotional and personal chapter of the ...

Creator: Mike Flanagan   Stars: Kate Siegel, Zach Gilford, Kristin Lehman Synopsis:  An isolated island community experiences miraculous events - and frightening omens - after the arrival of a charismatic, mysterious young priest. Verdict:  Priests, angels, and bad make-up populate Mike Flanagan’s newest demonic Netflix limited series. Set on an isolated island where the population barely reaches 150 locals, it follows the events that unfold when a new, mysterious priest shows up to replace the community's old monsignor. His takeover coincides with a surge in miraculous happenings which result in an almost hysteric increase of faith within the residents. But if history has taught us anything, it’s that what cannot be explained right now shouldn’t immediately be labeled as God’s work. Miracles shouldn’t be treated as proof of the existence of a higher power, but merely as a reminder that no matter how much science progresses, humanity’s knowledge will always remain limited...